Gooooooooood morning, vibrational beings! That was a fun week, wasn’t it? My favorite part was when they played all that football. Billy Napier’s favorite part? Probably not when there was a rain delay in Gainesville with the Gators down 10–0 and you just knew every booster in the University of Florida system was sitting around saying, “So. Billy.”
There were the worst of vibes, and there were the best of vibes. The vibes:
Worst Vibes
1. Billy Napier
It’s always wild when a mid-major coach’s mid-major teams were better than his new high-major teams once he gets the high-major job. For a year, we get it, but Billy Napier won 40 games in four years with the Ragin’ Cajuns. The Ragin’ Cajuns are not a program who wins 40 games in four years. I will be excited to learn what the heck happened at Florida. For Napier’s sake, hopefully we don’t get the post-mortem this week.
2. Florida State (Again)
Why would the ACC do this to Florida State?
Here’s something I’m curious about: Who has worse vibes right now – Mike Norvell or DJ Uiagalelei? Working in Uiagalelei’s favor is the fact that he didn’t disguise the quarterback he is. Florida State bought their ticket. But while Uiagalelei might not be as responsible as Norvell for what’s happening in Tallahassee, responsibility and vibes are not the same. The vibes are terrible right now for DJU.
3. Purdue
Of course it was Purdue.
Purdue got us good. They had everyone from talking heads to betting markets hopping on the hype train (and they don’t skimp on trains around Purdue). Was it their own hype? That’s the thing. It wasn’t. Mostly, people were dancing on Notre Dame’s grave and saying, “Hey, Purdue can’t be that bad, right?”
Turns out, they can be.
4. Portland State
If I’d had to guess the bizarre reason which would force Portland State to cancel a game this season, I would’ve guessed it would involve students dousing the field in lighter fluid and starting a major chemical fire in protest of climate change. A whooping cough outbreak? What a twist.
I hope someone reports on the source of it. I feel like it’s going to somehow tie back to RFK.
5. Davis Warren
I’m more concerned about Michigan’s defense than its offense, and this is why:
How badly did Michigan’s defense play this summer for Sherrone Moore to think Davis Warren could start college football games?
6. Those in Arch Manning’s Way
7. Kent State
Imagine you are Kent State. Last week, you lost to a school named Saint Francis whom you’ve since been told is not one of the FCS’s better programs. Surely, this week couldn’t be as embarrassing, right?
71–0.
Tennessee beat Kent State 71–0.
At one point Tennessee had a 51–0 lead and Saint Francis’s total yard count was negative.
8. Vandy
On the bright side, Vandy fought back from their 22–10 deficit entering the third quarter.
On the other bright side, Vandy got to play at Turner Field, which might lead American stadiums in history per year of existence.
On the dark side, Vandy lost to Georgia State after allowing them to go 75 yards in 59 seconds. Now, they have to play an SEC schedule where their worst home opponent is South Carolina.
That baseball program better get great again soon.
9. Fourth Down Mark Stoops
I had just come out of watching Texas and the Cubs, so I was a little distracted when Kentucky lined up to punt. I assumed they were deep in their own territory.
Nope!
They were at midfield!
Stoops should have told the press he was playing for a safety.
10. Brian Kelly
It’s his seat until further notice.
Best Vibes
1. John Mateer
I’m a big fan of democracy, but I would understand if people in Pullman this morning wanted to make John Mateer their king. What a swashbuckler. They should have a parade.
2. John Mateer’s Team
Washington State: Apple Cup champions. The Oregon/Oregon State game was very, very sad. The Washington/Washington State game was very, very happy! The best part is that thanks to Oregon wanting to look down on Washington, Arizona hating Jedd Fisch, SEC fans hating the Big Ten, and every mid-major west of (or on the shores of) the Mississippi suddenly seeing Washington State as their ticket to national prominence, I’m pretty sure the Cougars had more votes in this one than Reagan got in ’84. Washington State: America’s team?
3. Pitt Comebacks
Last week, Pitt came back from a significant deficit against Cincinnati, and we said, “Haha Cincinnati. You idiots. You are on the worst vibes list!” This week, Pitt came back from a significant deficit against West Virginia, and we said, “Pitt, you beautiful boys in blue. Get on the good vibes list!”
What’s the difference?
I really, really like those West Virginia helmets.
(Also, two times is a pattern. Sorry, Cincinnati. We may have misattributed those vibes.)
4. Caden Durham
LSU was about to light every dumpster in Baton Rouge on fire. There was a chance Brian Kelly would seek asylum in Venezuela. South Carolina was so close to believing that this might be the year they make the ReliaQuest Bowl. Then, Caden Durham started running like he didn’t want to lose.
Few things are more fun to watch in football than running backs who run like they don’t want to lose.
5. John Mateer Tribute Artists
We would be remiss to not mention John Mateer’s openers, Matthew Sluka and Avery Johnson, who spent Friday night making America salivate for big white quarterbacks running around with their heads cut off. They really primed us for John Mateer’s Saturday.
6. Toledo
The only bad thing about Toledo’s decimation of Mississippi State is that Toledo’s game against NIU is on a Saturday this year. That might have been the Tuesday Night contest of the millennium.
Rockets! I like when a team lives up to its nickname.
7. Arch Manning
Whether he got there through his family sabotaging Quinn Ewers’s abdomen or not, the kid put on a show. You have to give the guy that.
8. UCF
Since firing Gus Malzahn, Auburn is 19–22. Since getting fired by Auburn, Gus Malzahn is 27–16. What a comeback by the Knights in Fort Worth. KJ Jefferson will always do enough to keep you thinking he might be great.
9. The Kibbie Dome
Idaho! The Vandals!
These guys smoked Albany yesterday in retribution for Reese Poffenbarger ending their season last December. Their only loss so far came by ten against Oregon. South Dakota State and North Dakota State both looked like butt this week. The Kibbie Dome was rocking.
Idaho might win the FCS national championship. Which is the kind of thing you’d hope would happen when a team drops down to the FCS, but would still be fun. We all miss the WAC glory days, but Moscow fits the Big Sky. It’s a good situation.
10. Curt Cignetti
My one complaint with Curt Cignetti’s Indiana tenure so far is that he hasn’t started smoking a lot of cigs. The man’s clearly made an immediate impact with the Hoosiers, but one has to wonder whether things would be going even better if he was making Bloomington the cigarette capital of 21st-century America.
