Cardinals fans are getting into older men, and how could we be surprised?
There’s been a push these last few days, with Albert Pujols playing for the Dodgers in St. Louis against recently-extended Adam Wainwright and Yadier Molina, to have Pujols go back to the Cardinals for one last hurrah in 2022. Presumably, there’d be a farewell tour, with Molina unironically claiming equal status to one of the greatest players of all time. Presumably, Pujols would stink. Pujols would absolutely stink.
One of the pieces pushing for this mentioned that with a rule change likely in the works, Pujols would be able to DH for the Cards, thereby not taking at-bats away from Paul Goldschmidt at first. That would be great…for the rest of the National League. Pujols has been a below-average hitter on the season, mounting a 96 wRC+ that would place him in a dead heat for the worst qualified hitter listed as a DH had he enough plate appearances to be on that list. That 96 mark, we should also note, is his best since 2016. Not only has he been below average at the plate this year, but Albert Pujols has been below average at the plate for the last half a decade. Having him designated hit would be like having Shaquille O’Neal designated shoot free throws. It would bring in some revenue, but it wouldn’t win ballgames.
This is the thing about Cardinals fans. They don’t really want to win. They’ve done a little bit of that before. It was cool. Right now, though? They want to construct a team that they unreservedly love. It doesn’t matter if that team’s any good. They just want to eat a hot dog and soak in the nostalgia.
With that, then, I think the Cardinals’ starting lineup for next Opening Day is obvious:
C: Molina
1B: Pujols
2B: Ozzie Smith (There are definitely Cardinals fans who think Smith could still turn a mean double play and say so loudly following ground balls that don’t become double plays)
SS: David Eckstein
3B: Chipper Jones (No, not a Cardinal, but Cardinals fans would love to have him in there)
LF: Matt Carpenter (He can figure it out if it means they get Chipper Jones)
CF: Jim Edmonds
RF: Ray Lankford
DH: Mark McGwire
SP: Wainwright
CL: Jason Isringhausen
