My nieces and nephew were together this weekend, four kids under four, playing in the same cabin. At one point, the two-year-old niece was playing with a school bus while across the coffee table, the three-year-old enjoyed a group of Magna-Tile® dinosaurs. Predictably, the dinosaurs attacked the school bus. Predictably, a little voice cried, “Noooooooooooooo!”
In the cabin, adult hands warded off the dinosaurs. But there are no parents, grandparents, aunts, or uncles there to intervene the SEC. Jim Schlossnagle will be the newest coach of the Texas Longhorns. Sorry, Texas A&M.
If Texas remained in the Big 12, this would still have happened. This is not happening because Texas joined the SEC. That it happened six days before Texas officially rejoined A&M’s conference, though, is very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very funny. It is also very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very fitting. Sorry, Texas A&M. This is how it’s going to be.
Texas A&M knew this when Texas sidled up to the SEC at the bar, old pal Oklahoma serving as its wingman. Texas A&M tried to stop the courtship. But Texas A&M never had any real power in the SEC, and Texas had its most power when it wasn’t yet betrothed to the nation’s leading conference (in sports the public cares about). Big brother moved back in. The bullying has already begun.
Why did Schlossnagle make the leap? He got a chance to make more money coaching a more historically successful program in a better city while working with his old athletic director from TCU, with whom he is good friends.
Will Schlossnagle succeed in Austin? Probably. He’s succeeded in Fort Worth and College Station, and it’s doubtful it’s harder to succeed while wearing burnt orange.
Why did Schlossnagle make such an ass out of himself on Monday night? He’d just lost a national championship, he was on tilt, and he hadn’t had time to process that he was about to be the target for the Texas job. Texas waited to fire David Pierce until right before Game 3 for precisely this reason. Texas wanted nobody to have time to process the move. Chris Del Conte wanted to give Texas A&M no time to circle its wagons. Schlossnagle didn’t have to be an ass, but he didn’t say he was going to stay. He clumsily and angrily answered a question. This isn’t a defense of being an asshole, but that’s what happened, and it got the reaction it did not because he was unusually dishonest, but because he disrespected a reporter. College sports journalists hate when coaches disrespect their own. Usually, though, they need to maintain access, so their response is muted. In this case, they didn’t need access. Only a select few in media need access from a college baseball coach. This was a rare opportunity for college sports media to stick up for itself, and they seized it. Had John Calipari or Lincoln Riley answered a question like Schlossnagle did, there’d be some grumblings, but there’d be plenty of defending done as well.
Anyway, condolences to Texas A&M, who knew this kind of thing was only going to increase when the schools who run the SEC welcomed Texas’s overtures. A&M probably could have locked up Schlossnagle—they seem to have underestimated how much Texas cares about baseball—but if it wasn’t Schlossnagle, it would have been something else. A&M is back under the thumb now. I’m not sure there’s a way out.
Quick(er) Hitters
Texas formally celebrates its entry to the SEC on Sunday. Pitbull will highlight the celebration, performing on campus in front of the tower. I get it. If you have a chance to celebrate alongside Pitbull, you host a celebration, and fan engagement matters. I do, however, think the SEC should be celebrating joining Texas, not the other way around. Weak move, Longhorns.
(Aside: Pitbull is the funniest person alive. Especially if he’s not trying to be funny. Making matters wackier, his music’s also good. Usually when someone’s unintentionally hilarious, they’re not this great at what they do. I would like to read a dissertation on Pitbull’s place in American society. Maybe Steve Helwick will write one for me.)
High school class of 2026 quarterback Dia Bell (son of Raja Bell, who played parts of 14 seasons in the NBA) committed to Texas last Monday. The 247 composite has him as a five-star, the tenth-best recruit in his class, and the second-best quarterback. Big pickup! He’ll be a freshman when Arch Manning is theoretically a redshirt junior. In other 2026 news: Decommitting later last week was four-star running back Raycine Guillory from Aledo High School. Committing today was four-star wide receiver Chris Stewart out of Shadow Creek High School.
Sticking with football, two new commitments over the last couple weeks for the class of 2025: Three-star cornerback Caleb Chester, from Fort Bend Marshall High School, and three-star offensive tackle John Mills.
We’ll try to compile a full list of Longhorns in the Olympics as the opening ceremonies approach, but for now, from what we can tell…
Seven Longhorn swimmers and divers qualified for Paris last week:
- 2023 graduate Carson Foster, in both the 200-meter and 400-meter individual medley.
- Rising sophomore Erin Gemmell, as part of the 4×200 freestyle relay.
- 2020 graduate Alison Gibson, in springboard.
- Rising senior Luke Hobson, in the 200-meter freestyle.
- Rising senior David Johnston, in the 1500-meter freestyle.
- 2022 graduate Drew Kibler, as part of the 4×200 freestyle relay.
- Rising sophomore Aaron Shackell, in the 400-meter freestyle.
In track and field:
- 2016 graduate Ryan Crouser has qualified for Paris, looking to defend his back-to-back gold medals and current world record in the shot put.
- 2020 graduate Elena Bruckner competes on Thursday in the women’s discus finals. She was fifth in preliminaries, so it appears she’ll need to climb at least two spots to make Team USA. Going off of prelim results, that would have required a 1.51-meter improvement, which is within a standard deviation or so of a thrower’s individual average.
