I’m fond of the University of Texas. I hold great love for a number of Longhorn alumni. But the best way I can describe the impression one gets walking away from Section 115 at Darrell K Royal-Texas Memorial Stadium is to say that nothing embodies this fanbase more than putting neuticles on a steer.
So, needing something Longhorns-focused with our muse departed to Milwaukee, and needing some outlet for the phrase “Bevo’s Fake Nuts” that I keep chanting to myself while sitting alone in my living room (I don’t know how many times I have to tell the guys across the wall—it’s not a séance), a weekly column seems to be the thing to do. Five hundred words about Tex-ass-ports. Every seven days (theoretically).
I’ve never seen a fanbase whipsaw so crisply from elation to dejection as Texas’s did on Saturday night. Two weeks ago, bopping around by the Tower after the Horns made Louisiana-Lafayette look like a mid-major in Steve Sarkisian’s debut, the faithful were returning to Canaan. Hudson Card to Cade Brewer. Lake Travis will save us all. It was the golden hour. Families were out together. There were enough ULL fans in the city, wandering, heads hung, to make it feel like a conference game. The guys on the radio were giggling. The guys on Horn FM were giggling. The guys on Horn FM could smell the revitalized ratings.
Seven days later: “You have to put Casey Thompson in.”
It was a reasonable request. Texas was down sixteen points. Texas had gotten two first downs. It was halftime in Fayetteville. But at the same time…Lake Travis will save us all.
Walking out of Stubb’s an hour or two after the game ended, a nearby concert-goer asked the score. Their spouse checked. Their spouse relayed the score.
Silence.
Absolute silence.
Now, to be fair, Arkansas is a riot. Eric Musselman went to that school and found whatever switch flips a mediocre SEC athletic department from mediocre to full of swagger. Sam Pittman came in, the vibe was already there, Woo Pig. I don’t know if the Razorbacks are going to be any good in the near future, but it feels like they could be. Tennessee beating Alabama? Laughs. Arkansas beating Alabama? You can picture it if you squint.
To also be fair, yeah, maybe Thompson’s a better option than Card. But to be fair to me, the immediacy of it. One bad half and ehh, let’s scrap this. The Longhorn ecosystem tried to turn off the console and start the video game over. Against Arkansas. The seventh-best team in the conference Texas is joining.
Smash cut to Chris Del Conte on the phone: “You know? 2025 sounds great.”
Texas plays Rice this weekend, Rice gave Arkansas trouble but Texas should whoop ‘em, everyone should get to feel good again for a week. Casey Thompson will save us all.
