Welcome to Bevo’s Fake Nuts, our weekly column on the Texas Longhorns.
It’s Red River time, and in an odd twist, Texas winning might not make it Back? Usually, at this point in the year, Texas has one bad loss and no good wins, so if they beat Oklahoma, it’s grounds for hype. This year, Texas has one bad loss and one good loss, but Oklahoma—flipping the plot—looks the worst it has since 2014, the year they scored six points in the Russell Athletic Bowl (might be worse than that team, honestly). For the first time in recent memory, Texas is expected to win this game. I don’t know how to process that.
Part of the excitement comes from the return of Quinn Ewers, who’s going to be under center for the first time since whatever happened to his shoulder happened against Alabama, nearly a month ago. This factor—the possibility that Texas looks sensational with Ewers—might be enough to open the possibility of Back-ness. The College Football Playoff committee, after all, has a precedent for forgiving losses suffered with a backup quarterback. Alongside steroids and a decade of ineptitude from the ACC, it’s a big reason why Clemson had their little flash in the pan. The 2017 Tigers don’t make the playoff if the CFP committee doesn’t forgive the loss to Syracuse. Would the committee forgive the Texas Tech loss? Would it alter its perception of the Alabama loss? It’s hard to say, and it’s situational (it sure does help that there aren’t any good football teams this year outside of the Big Ten and SEC), but the possibility does exist that if Texas scores 50 today, they become a backdoor playoff contender.
So, yes, Back-ness is on the table. Which is probably bad news for Texas.
What do we know about Texas? They will trick you. They will deceive. They will give you the impression they’re good, and then they will immediately lose to Texas Tech or blow an 18-point late lead or drop three straight road games, pulling your brain’s pants down in front of everyone who heard any of your thoughts. So, Texas is a medium-sized favorite? Stop it. Don’t let me go there. I don’t even want to believe in the first place. Please, don’t make me.
And yet, it’s hard not to see it. It’s hard not to see Texas grabbing a big win today. I square it with what I know—I say this is the upswing, I say this is where Texas does the thing that makes me think it’s good—but I see it nonetheless. Quinn Ewers’s mullet and whatnot.
Hopefully, it’s chaos. That’s the comfortable place for this game. Hopefully, it’s a thorough mess and we all walk away wondering what the hell we just watched. Hopefully we get some good middle-finger GIFs from fans and Ewers walks on water and Brent Venables and Steve Sarkisian develop an intense, lifelong hatred. But hopefully, too…dammit. I want Texas Back. At least for a week.
