Welcome to Bevo’s Fake Nuts, our weekly (for the most part) column on the Texas Longhorns.
Look, I like Brian Davis. Or rather, I don’t dislike him. What I’m trying to say is that I don’t have anything against the guy, just like I don’t have anything against the other rubber sandals in the Longhorn media circuit who praise and praise and praise until they realize their consumers are sick of losing and turn full stop on the coach. My impression is that for the most part, they’re nice guys, and you can’t fault someone for being a homer, and you also can’t fault someone for following their consumer base, even if at times they follow it to silly places.
That said, you can sure make fun of them.
I mean, look at this tweet:
First of all, what does “main talent” mean? Evidently it means having seven active players as long as you’ve got 75% of your minutes and four starters? Evidently it doesn’t include your head coach? Has anyone ever used the phrase “main talent” before? To what lexicon does this belong? Did Beard say this? Is this of the mind of Davis?
Secondly, we were assigning asterisks? To games against teams who’ve won seven conference games combined the last two seasons? Where is this Chris Beard asterisking club? Where do I join?
Third…it was Kansas State.
Now. I love Kansas State. On the record with that multiple times. All about Kansas State.
Also, Kansas State’s in the NIT picture. Hanging around. They’re not a bad team.
But guys…come on. Texas basketball is at the point where we’re picking fights over whether beating the worst team in the conference on the road is a legitimate win or not because they were without their head coach and some key players?
In my day, Texas basketball meant something. It was a national championship program. It was the home of our favorite coach in the country. It was the first team in history to win a Maui Invitational away from the island of Maui.
Now, we argue with straw men over whether or not the coach who wined and dined us on New Year’s Day is getting enough credit for beating the worst Big 12 team on their home court when they were dealing with a medium case of plague.
So fine, Brian Davis, I’ll be your straw man. Not only do I not think the win’s that impressive, but I don’t think it should count in the standings. I think that unless Kansas State has at least 81% of its minutes and its head coach, it’s not the real Kansas State. It becomes Fort Hays State, in that case, and while Fort Hays State might be better, even you would not be combing Chris Beard’s robe over a win at Fort Hays State (partially because Chris Beard would never be man enough to schedule Fort Hays State on the road).
Anyway, Marquette beat Providence by thirty last night. But that probably deserve an asterisk.
