There are hobbies out there which sound exciting but you know are probably too much. It would be cool to be a good painter, but the time and energy required are daunting. It would be rewarding to run a bunch of marathons, but that sounds like a good way to be in pain all the time. Going on Jeopardy could change your life, but to learn all the trivia necessary to get there, and to practice the buzzer for hours and hours, all for what’s probably just one episode?
Being a “foodie” is not like these. It’s much worse.
For one thing, you have to call yourself a “foodie,” which is something you either have to say half-laughing, at which point everyone involved feels uncomfortable, or say with a straight face, at which point everyone involved thinks you take yourself too seriously. But that’s just unfortunate naming by society. If people who read a lot of books were called “pagies,” it wouldn’t ruin the experience of reading. The word “foodie” is not what’s ruining the idea of acquiring such a sophisticated palate that you feel disappointed eating anything simple. It’s the idea itself that’s doing that in.
We aren’t arguing here that people shouldn’t like cool food, or try cool food, or even appreciate appreciation-worthy food. It’s when it gets to the point where you’re unhappy eating an average piece of pizza that you have an issue. A hobby shouldn’t make your everyday life less enjoyable. It’s like becoming a sommelier: You spend all this money and time to make yourself hate the less-expensive versions of the thing you love.
So the next time someone tells you they’re a “foodie,” react appropriately. Soft hand on the shoulder. Look them in the eyes. Tell them you’re sorry. Then go eat a chicken tenders meal from McDonald’s, and thank our beneficent God you weren’t saddled with that particular cross.
