The Bangers IV quarterfinals have resulted.
They have resulted in this.
Here’s the link to the playlist, here are the results:
“All The Small Things” 32, “Everytime We Touch” 21
Instagram: 24–15
Google Form: 8–6
“All Star” 29, “What’s My Age Again?” 24
Instagram: 20–19
Google Form: 9–5
“Mr. Brightside” 37, “Semi-Charmed Life” 20
Instagram: 29–14
Google Form: 8–6
“Party In The U.S.A.” 29, “Call Me Maybe” 24
Instagram: 22–17
Google Form: 7–7
**
Ok, let’s talk about Mr. Darkside. Am I terrified? Yes. I am mortified. I am horrifically scared. There are people talking about a serial killer in Austin and I am infinitely more concerned with what Mr. Darkside could try to do this week. As I’ve said before, this isn’t about my own affinity for Mr. Brightside. I voted for Since U Been Gone in the Round of 16. This is about protecting the nobility of Bangers Brackets, whose only humble protection is the simple rule to “be cool” (and our ability to cancel out votes via the Google Form, which is the enforcement mechanism for that rule).
I would think Mr. Brightside should be safe in the semifinals. Clearly, I’m in the minority here, but I don’t think Party In The U.S.A. is that much of a banger. Good song? Oh definitely. Legendary song. But banger? It doesn’t give me the catharsis much of the rest of the bracket gives. I would think this would maybe protect us, but Mr. Darkside has shown they don’t care about whether a song is or isn’t a banger. Drops of Jupiter, Mr. Darkside’s original pet cause two springs ago, is a great song. But it is much more ballad than banger. Mr. Darkside didn’t care.
That’s the thing about terrorists. They don’t really believe in the cause they champion. If they believed, they would try to persuade. Terrorists know persuasion won’t work. They try to win by force.
We will not let the terrorists win.
This doesn’t mean we’re going to go Mr. Darkside ourselves, rigging the bracket in favor of Mr. Brightside. Again, personally, I don’t think Mr. Brightside is the best banger in this field (I’ll be voting for All The Small Things from here out), and even if I did: Terrorism is wrong. But we will be watching diligently, and if Mr. Darkside decides to make an appearance, we will do what’s necessary to protect your votes, voters. This isn’t about The Killers. This isn’t about The Barking Crow. This certainly isn’t about Mr. Darkside. This is about bangers. We owe it to those bangers to handle this well.
Semifinal voting starts tomorrow morning. Good luck sleeping with that on the table.
