We have a champion.
After rigorous examination by the voting public, we—the whole of humanity—have come to agreement on which animal we think would be funniest to see compete in downhill skiing.
It’s the sloth.
Sloth defeats Corgi, 19-13
Instagram: Sloth 12, Corgi 8
Twitter: Sloth 4, Corgi 3
Google Form: Sloth 3, Corgi 2
It’s an enormous victory for the sloth race, and it comes on the heels of a nailbiter of a run through the bracket, with the three wins prior to the championship coming by a combined four votes. Slow and steady, indeed.
As always, we have The People’s Rankings for you now, in which we take the different margins of victory/defeat and compare them against one another. It’s an imperfect way to stack things up, but it gives baby giraffes the credit they deserve, and who can stand opposed to that?
| Rank | Animal | Score |
| 1 | Sloth | 100.00 |
| 2 | Baby Giraffe | 96.55 |
| 3 | Panda | 96.00 |
| 4 | Octopus | 94.12 |
| 5 | Orca | 90.35 |
| 6 | Walrus | 81.40 |
| 7 | Corgi | 81.25 |
| 8 | Duck | 79.72 |
| 9 | Tigger | 78.79 |
| 10 | Goose | 78.14 |
| 11 | Adult Giraffe | 75.10 |
| 12 | Penguin | 73.95 |
| 13 | Basset Hound | 73.39 |
| 14 | Goofy | 69.33 |
| 15 | Taz | 67.46 |
| 16 | Camel | 66.21 |
| 17 | Garfield | 66.08 |
| 18 | Ostrich | 61.79 |
| 19 | Centipede | 60.61 |
| 20 | Elephant | 60.12 |
| 21 | Blue Whale | 59.16 |
| 22 | English Bulldog | 56.25 |
| 23 | Sea Lion | 55.96 |
| 24 | Benny the Bull | 55.65 |
| 25 | Alligator | 54.00 |
| 26 | Paddington | 53.58 |
| 27 | Beagle | 52.84 |
| 28 | The Energizer Bunny | 51.13 |
| 29 | French Bulldog | 50.00 |
| 30 | Chuck E. Cheese | 49.76 |
| 31 | Seahorse | 49.12 |
| 32 | Scrooge McDuck | 45.97 |
| 33 | Great Dane | 45.61 |
| 34 | German Shepherd Puppy | 45.29 |
| 35 | Shar Pei | 44.32 |
| 36 | Snoopy | 43.55 |
| 37 | Batman | 40.35 |
| 38 | Dachshund | 39.67 |
| 39 | Crab | 39.44 |
| 40 | Pillbug | 39.31 |
| 41 | King Cobra | 39.00 |
| 42 | Theodore Chipmunk | 36.22 |
| 43 | Tasmanian Devil | 35.79 |
| 44 | Koala | 35.37 |
| 45 | Golden Retriever | 35.14 |
| 46 | Goldy Gopher | 34.67 |
| 47 | Pomeranian | 33.88 |
| 48 | Akita | 32.62 |
| 49 | Snail | 31.58 |
| 50 | Alvin Chipmunk | 31.32 |
| 51 | Simon Chipmunk | 31.31 |
| 52 | Mastiff | 30.85 |
| 53 | Alpaca | 30.06 |
| 54 | Blobfish | 29.30 |
| 55 | Afghan Hound | 25.38 |
| 56 | Husky | 23.48 |
| 57 | Wishbone | 21.89 |
| 58 | Seal | 19.99 |
| 59 | Eel | 18.61 |
| 60 | Malamute | 18.27 |
| 61 | Tuna | 15.54 |
| 62 | Aardvark | 13.00 |
| 63 | Krill | 10.44 |
| 64 | Anchovy | 5.09 |
