The rumors are true. Last week, on what I believe was Wednesday, I ran out of milk. I still had cheese and ice cream in the refrigerator, but I drank myself clean out of milk. Chocolate milk: Empty. Whole milk: Empty. Other milk: Wasn’t there in the first place.
Worse, it took me until Saturday to restock that milk.
So, I’m here to apologize. As a representative of the most inclusive milk community on The Internet™, it’s my job to keep my own milk consumption diligent and ruthless. I failed last week in that endeavor. There’s nothing I can do to undo what I’ve done, but I do promise this: I’ve learned from this mistake and reevaluated my grocery cadence to avoid similar situations in the future, and I will continue to pursue milk excellence, albeit in a more humble yet ambitious manner. The milk must not run dry.
Thank you.
