What a first round, gang. A few notes:
1. You can see full first round results here. The updated bracket is at the bottom, but there’s your breakdown.
2. I saw a commercial for Perkins last night (I was at an inn in Ohio) and I realized I made a big mistake. I wouldn’t place this error solely on myself—you were all asked to nominate as well—but clearly, we need to do America’s Backbone II next year.
3. Waffle House did pull off the shutout. Off the top of my head, I think it’s only the second shutout in the history of these brackets we do, and we’ve been doing these brackets we do for four years now. The only other time I remember this happening is 2020, when New Jersey’s license plate got zero votes in the first round of License Plate Bracket I. If you were the one person who tried to vote against Waffle House: You missed the Google Form deadline.
4. QuikTrip took down Kwik Trip. Apologies to all the Wisconsinites in the room. At least you have Culver’s, which remains one of the favorites.
5. I’ve never been to Biscuitville but I may need to plan a trip to the Southeast. I love the concept. Biscuitville. Can you imagine a more exciting name for a town? (Evidently people don’t like Biscuitvile enough for it to put up much of a fight against Fuddruckers, but to be fair, the tilt on Fuddruckers’s logo is iconic and it sends the right message right away. Fuddruckers is here to party. Always. Not a lot of tilted logos out there.)
6. I’m a little sad that Kum & Go beat Scheels, not because I’ve ever been inside of a Scheels in my living memory but because Scheels is headquartered in Fargo, a town near and dear to my heart and home, and I think people just get a kick out of hearing the word “Kum” in the name of a gas station but we already gave the perverts their win with Lion’s Den. How much more horniness do you freaks have in you?? Mostly: Kum & Go, in my experience, isn’t special? Besides the name? Just kind of…another gas station? Maybe the juxtaposition with Casey’s has me slipping.
7. Taco John’s edged Friendly’s by a single vote, which is good because someone speaking on behalf of the state of Wyoming threatened the state would collectively harm itself if Taco John’s lost. Apologies to New England, but New England still probably has something in here, right? Not really? All the New England places got beat? Well. Payback for Spygate, I suppose.
8. The next time someone complains about New York dominating our media, please show them the results of Bojangles v. Xi’an Famous Foods. The Barking Crow is not like the rest.
9. Chuy’s bested Rita’s by a single vote, the second of two one-vote matchups in this first round. Makes sense. This is America, Rita’s. We eat American ice. Get that Italian shit out of here.
10. Having been to both kind of a lot (though Hy-Vee has never been my primary grocer), I voted for Hy-Vee over H-E-B, but the people disagreed, and I am not one to quarrel with the rule of the people. To quarrel with the rule of the people, though: H-E-B is a really good grocery store. Hy-Vee transcends the constraints the title “grocery store” sometimes bestows. H-E-B is, however, a community staple. “Texas forever,” as the good bard says.
11. Sheetz vs. Wawa in the second round, for people for whom such things are important. (We’re talking about the state of Pennsylvania.)
The bracket is below. Second round voting in the morning. Or, depending when you’re reading this: Second round voting right now? Check the homepage.
