As you may have heard, the horse initially deemed the winner of the Kentucky Derby—Maximum Security—was disqualified for bad behavior.
To which all I can say is: It’s about time.
For too long, horses have been swindling us, tricking us, coercing us to feed them hay, and—yes—cutting each other off in the middle of a race.
This roguery demands retribution, and finally, someone in our species had the courage to stand up for it.
No, Maximum Security, you do NOT get to wear the pretty roses. You do NOT get to go down in history as one more name in a list of names we vaguely remember as Kentucky Derby Champions. You do NOT get to be accurately advertised to the owners of your potential lovers as the horse who won The Race that Made Louisville Famous™.
Instead, you’re going to run a few more races, live out your life in luxurious comfort, breed with a bunch of other horses (but always with an asterisk!), and be remembered by our species as the horse who got disqualified that one time.
But no roses for you, pal.
Of course, because The Barking Crow believes in a positive, thoughtful exchange of divergent opinions, we must include a counterpoint. So here you are:
