We’re shelving the Kawhi Leonard take everyone’s thinking. It has to wait until tomorrow. I’m nervous about the delay. We originally intended to publish it on Tuesday, and I fear we’re tempting fate by continuing to hold it back.
1. Would it be funnier for Shedeur Sanders to slide or to become a bust?
Busts are only busts if they’re drafted high enough. Josh Rosen was a big bust, but he doesn’t come up very quickly when people talk about the biggest busts of all time. He went in the top ten.
Because of this, I think the answer to our question here is that it’d be funnier if Shedeur Sanders slid. If you’re a Sanders hater—either anti-Shedeur or anti-the whole family—the best scenario for you is Sanders falling out of the first round.
Sanders won’t be in attendance at tonight’s first round, which actually makes the sliding scenario funnier. Nobody can say the cameras are mean for focusing on Shedeur Sanders when Shedeur Sanders placed the cameras there himself.
That’s kind of the whole deal with the Sanders family business. The cameras are coming from inside the house. Shedeur Sanders isn’t bad—this isn’t a Bronny James situation where the famous son in question doesn’t deserve to be drafted—but Deion Sanders has told us for a few years now that his son is better than he really is, often in outlandish and ridiculous ways, like by retiring his son’s number at Colorado while generations of greater Buffs go unrecognized. Add in Shedeur Sanders being more of a prick than most college QB1’s, and it’s easy to pile on the guy. We expect some prick behavior from good college quarterbacks, and from good football players in general. But things like leaving the field early against Nebraska and claiming a dubious concussion excuse (what kind of concussion protocol is dependent on how much time’s left in the game) make haters feel justified.
In happier news, Travis Hunter’s dad will be able to attend the draft. We always want to make clear that we respect Travis Hunter. It’s the guy clutching his coattails who we don’t respect.
2. Does a choir defeat the harmonica identity?
This is why we had to push Kawhi Leonard talk to tomorrow. This is why.
Maybe, as a child, I watched too many cartoons featuring a jailed anthropomorphic animal breaking out in “Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen.” Whether it’s that or not, I think of the harmonica as a solitary instrument. Which is why I was a little relieved when I found out that the harmonica choir performing the national anthem at Los Angeles Kings playoff games is actually a harmonica class. It’s a harmonica class at the Koreatown Senior & Community Center.
This makes much more sense. Some old Korean ladies signed up for a harmonica class. They were asked to perform the national anthem at a Kings playoff game. The performance was so absurd and charming that fans demanded they be asked back for the next Kings playoff game. Every piece of this adds up. Well, except for the Kings asking the class to perform the national anthem at a playoff game. I understand the class existing, and I understand the popular demand for harmonicas at Game 2, given Game 1 went so well. What I don’t understand is how they ended up doing Game 1 in the first place. That’s the part of this I don’t get.
Anyway, getting shelved for this is what Kawhi Leonard asked for when he went to Hollywood. Good luck grabbing the spotlight when the harmonica class from the Koreatown Senior & Community Center’s out there lurking.
3. Job’s not finished.
Some gratuitous commentary on my three favorite teams, one of which I supported before my transfiguration into NIT Stu, two of which I support because they were, at the time my fanhood was decided, the most NIT-embodying teams in their respective leagues:
- These Cubs are awesome. Won the season series against the Dodgers. Everybody’s hitting. The starters are pitching. The bullpen’s been struggling but Porter Hodge stole Shohei Ohtani’s soul last night so I think the bullpen’s fixed. Even Craig Counsell isn’t annoying me. It’s probably because of the winning, but I like to think it’s because he loosened up and/or was replaced by a different Craig Counsell who’s a better hang. Anyway, job’s not finished. Six months of baseball left. Plus hopefully one more week or so.
- Burnley’s going back to the Premier League, and we all know how that tends to go. (Just kidding, nobody follows soccer. Promoted teams usually get relegated right away.) But enough about next year! The lads’ve got two games left, and they currently trail Leeds on point differential. I want that Championship championship. Unless Burnley doesn’t get it in which case who cares the reward for second place is just as good. This year. 2023 was a different story. (Job’s not finished.)
- Game 3 tonight for the Sens, back home at the Canadian Tire Centre. I respect Canada for spelling it “Tire,” by the way. I don’t care about center/centre, but “tyre” is messed up. Anyway, Sens need to win! Job’s not even started! Also I learned in Game 2 that I really hate the Leafs. Before Game 2 it was a funny, “Yeah yeah I’m a Sens fan I hate the Leafs” thing. Now, I hate the Leafs. I hope bad things happen to Anthony Stolarz. Personally as well as professionally. Hope he gets punched in the back of the head by a big padded man. Eye for an eye, bitch.
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