Yeah yeah yeah, Rory McIlroy’s Masters victory was a cinematic display of resilience, perseverance, and athletic precision, one which struck something deep in our collective soul through its junction of overwhelming humanity and awe-inspiring excellence.
Big deal.
1. Is LIV making golfers worse at golf?
Rory McIlroy recorded four double bogeys and still won the Masters. That’s an average of one per round, and it’s the most double bogeys anyone’s ever recorded while winning the Masters. By this measure, Rory McIlroy was a historically bad Masters champion.
Let’s bring LIV into this.
The idea behind LIV is that it takes golf and waters it down with a bunch of things that mostly make it worse. If the PGA Tour is a bunch of different bottles of tequila, ranging from the best mezcal in the world (the Masters) to Sauza Silver (ISCO Championship), LIV is a shelf of Jose Cuervo where all the bottles are diluted with cat urine. They don’t play as often. Their tournaments aren’t as long. Every LIV golfer’s got a hundred million dollars and at least a handful of virgins, which makes them fat and happy. Then, they show up for the majors and we expect them to compete with Rory McIlroy? No wonder the guy’s winning with four double bogeys. Bryson DeChambeau was supposed to be the main competition today. He instead spent the afternoon paying tribute to Sully Sullenberger.
I’m calling bullshit on the sport of golf. At least until LIV starts making its golfers wear pants again.
2. Why NIL agents get away with it.
On Saturday, I wrote that NIL agents are a huge problem and we should all scapegoat them for everything. A few addenda:
- A. Not all agents. I hopefully made this clear when I suggested the good agents get together and collude to drive the shitballs out of the industry. I met an agent once at a tailgate and he was really nice to me. I’m sure he’s not a shitball. Not professionally, anyway. A shitball socially, maybe, in an endearing way. Maybe he’s gotten up to some hijinks with his friends on a guys’ weekend. Something like breaking into his buddy’s room and pulling him out of bed yelling, “War is hell!”
- B. Yeah, Nico Iamaleava didn’t have a real agent. He only had his dad. I think that proves my point, but thanks to everyone who pointed it out.
- C. I got in the car twenty minutes after publishing that post and immediately realized why we don’t all scapegoat NIL agents for everything.
Agents are good sources.
College sports media has an issue where a lot of journalists rely on access, intel, or both. Access: You can’t get interviews for content if a program’s got you blacklisted. Intel: Agents are good sources. They give a lot of the scoops guys their scoops.
Agents, then, have a lot of power over college sports journos. Just like coaches do. For the same reasons a lot of investigable things go uninvestigated, a lot of journos won’t say anything bad about agents. It doesn’t help that agents are naturally salespeople while journalists, per a Business Insider account of a 2017 study, “drink too much, are bad at managing emotions, and operate at a lower level than average” mentally. Easy targets.
College sports journalists don’t set the entire conversation, but they do play a big role in it. And as it becomes increasingly normalized for individual journos to do all three of reporting, analysis, and opinion (three things that should be separate if you want to maximize credibility), it just makes things even worse.
That’s the big picture here. Hopefully it helps explain why agents slip by.
3. College baseball is fun and sometimes silly.
Congratulations to Western Michigan on the national championship in hockey, by the way. I never know what to say about hockey. Did they win the Frozen Four? Is that what I say? Do I say they won the hockey NCAA Tournament? Do I have to specify ice? Do I have to specify men? Congratulations to Western Michigan.
Two fun things from college baseball yesterday:
First, Texas Longhorn Casey Borba hit a foul ball that SEC Network commentators were very sure was a home run. Now we all know that SEC Network isn’t sending its broadcasters to games in person. Come on, guys. It’s way more fun. And the SEC’s still regional!
Second, remember that exterminator who came to the Diamondbacks game last year and saved it from a bee infestation? We praised him at the time, but it turns out he was a boner. Look at the equipment and apparel he needed just to get a couple bees off a net. Now look at this guy, who did the same thing to save a game between South Florida and Rice.
The American Athletic Conference. Where men are still men.
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