Trying to figure out who you want to win each of today’s NCAA Tournament games?
Same.
Here’s a guide that helped me make these decisions. Maybe it’ll work for you too.
Tennessee vs. Iowa
Working in Iowa’s favor: It’d be surprising. It’d be convenient for The Barking Crow’s bracket (Joe picked Cincy in this one). I am a big fan of the O’Connor family, a dynastic managing crew within Iowa hoops.
Working in Tennessee’s favor: It will continue to be funny if Rick Barnes succeeds after getting run out of town at Texas.
North Carolina vs. Washington
On the one hand, Roy Williams sure is lovable. On the other, Washington has a live husky as its mascot. Back on the UNC side, I’m not sure that husky traveled to Columbus this weekend. But back on the Washington side, I didn’t really like UNC as a kid because their jerseys reminded me of toothpaste. On the Washington side, UNC had that scandal where athletes weren’t taking classes. On the UNC side, the worst thing about that scandal was that the NCAA was pretty much cool with it, provided the athletes weren’t getting paid.
Duke vs. UCF
Zion Williamson is an entertaining young man who seems to be the offspring of a cartoon wrecking ball and its human lover. But calling him more endearing than Tacko Fall is an affront to reason and the heart.
Texas Tech vs. Buffalo
The Buffalo Bulls versus a fanbase that would probably harbor Buffalo Bill if given the chance. Both schools are enjoying unprecedented success under up-and-coming coaches. Both schools would probably prefer to keep their coach around. My guess is one is prepared to spend the money to do so.
Virginia Tech vs. Liberty
Woke College Basketball Twitter™ is taking advantage of this opportunity to educate everyone on the sins of the Jerry Falwell’s and implore people to cheer against Liberty, which implies, to varying degrees:
- Woke College Basketball Twitter™ is the ultimate moral arbiter, and without them no college basketball fan would have known about Jerry Falwell or Liberty University because the rest of us simply do not follow these worldly affairs. Thankfully they are here to bestow upon us the correct opinion on the matter, free from nuance and added dimensions coming from personal experience and diverse perspectives.
- Every person in a university, including athletes who choose schools based on factors different from those of other students, are blindly allegiant to their school’s founding/leading family.
- Jerry Falwell and his son Jerry Falwell are so bad that supporting the basketball team of a school they founded is morally corrupt.
- Virginia Tech, a school an hour and a half away from Liberty, has no students, faculty, or fans who share beliefs similar to those of the Jerry Falwell’s.
Do with this as you will.
Virginia vs. Oklahoma
Man.
Oklahoma football generates an emotion but Oklahoma basketball just makes me remember with some puzzlement that Trae Young and Blake Griffin each played there.
If you believe that Tony Bennett is ruining college basketball by prioritizing defense and slowing down the game, you should probably pull for the Sooners.
If you believe that Tony Bennett is a great coach who has built his school’s program into the best it has ever been, and hope for basketball’s sake that he’ll be remembered as more than the guy who lost to a 16-seed for the first time, you should probably pull for Virginia.
Houston vs. Ohio State
How do you feel about Ohio State’s fanbase?
Have you ever met a member of Ohio State’s fanbase?
Oh, you have?
And they were just a normal person who was actually fairly reasonable and has a few wacky friends?
Funny how that works.
You should still cheer for Houston because the absence of Rob Gray from the tournament’s second and third weekends last year was a tragedy, and while he’s no longer there, his legacy of making people say “I know Houston is good but honest to goodness I have never watched them play, I know nothing about their team aside from my vague notion that Kelvin Sampson is the coach, and I don’t desire to make that notion more certain” lives on.
Oregon vs. UC-Irvine
A true Cinderella showdown. On the 12-seed line, we have a large state school whose athletic department thrives off their relationship with Nike. On the 13-seed line, we have an even larger state school with a $951 million endowment (for context, LSU’s is $845 million) and the designation of being ranked one of the 35 best colleges in the country. We can all be excused for not knowing these latter figures because UC-Irvine is, indeed, the Anteaters.
Good luck picking between these little guys!
