Fargo Friday: The Puppy’s Foreign Policy

This is Fargo.

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Fargo has something to say:

mmmmmmhhhheeeeeeLLOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

*stomp stomp butt waggle lots of little licks I mean lots of little licks we are in a big little-lick groove these days yep yep yep lots of little licks and the tail’s gonna subtly wag while I sit here ooooooooh yeah life is good*

as you can see, i have a kingdom. it is alternatively called a neighborhood but potato tomato it’s mine (i would eat both potatos and tomatos if allowed LET THE RECORD SHOW). this morning a little girl said to her visiting grandma, “That’s Fargo,” and pointed at me and then i played with the girl’s dog, Hugo, because i am a kind and benevolent ruler of the neighborhood/kingdom.

*boop*

anyhoobaloo, i have a kingdom, i am a monarch, as such i must have a foreign policy (ok yes foreign pawlicy you can have that one) here it is:

i like everybody.

with four exceptions.

the first two are the dogs next door. they are big. too big. i am, to be frank, absolutely freaking terrified of them. when they are outside i bark like all heck to let them know i am big and tough and will tear them limb from limb but those horse-looking pups are much too tall for me, which is why when the door opens i am INSIDE, and fast. they are simply too tall.

to handle this danger on our southern flank i have instituted a maximum bark campaign which is exactly what it sounds like. i maximize the quantity and the volume of the barks. so far, it has worked. they have yet to attack. but rest assured, i am vigilant, and i am willing to bark at them from the car while passing on the street if necessary, as i recently displayed before the window got closed and i had to pull my snoot out of the way (do not worry i barked all the while)

the other two exceptions are the dogs next door to the dogs next door. the next next door dogs, if you will (you will—again, i am a monarch)

they are annoying.

so much barking from those dogs. so much of it. they are terrors, and not in a fun way, and not in a scary way.

i hate them.

when i am outside and they are outside, we do not have problems. i go my way, they bark (one of them does do an impressive thing where she barks while holding a toy in her mouth i have not yet attempted this because it is NOT COOL but i do think that if i were to figure it out it would probably be pretty cool). but when i am inside…

the problems are there.

meaning mostly i just get mad and bark at them and do a little howly growl to make clear that this is not a house with which enemies can trifle, because THERE IS A BIG TOUGH DOG HERE.

that dog is me

Fargo

ok i am tired again big walk this morning really wiped me out see you later friends and friendettes