This is Fargo.
Fargo has something to say.
mmmmmheeeeeLLLOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*jumping, booping, jumping, booping, pausing to stare deeply into your soul, jumping, booping, jumping, booping, a big ol’ sniff of whatever it is you’re carrying a ring of keys wow that is amazing this is the most interesting thing a smeller has ever smelled*
i love you.
OK MOVING ON
there is a male in this household. i believe i have mentioned him before. he smells like cheese, except when he is going to the bathroom, at which point i don’t know what he smells like because i am running to the bedroom to see if the door is unlocked so i can steal his shoes (when i succeed, he usually says, “Darn it, Fargo!” and i say “ha ha ha i am the fargs the shoes are mine now you big dumb idiot” and then he takes them from me even though i just stated that the shoes are mine).
anyhoo, the male has been taking naps lately in the afternoon (he has also been getting up earlier in the morning do not worry i am keeping this slacker on task), and i have been helping him take these naps. usually, the way that this goes is that he is sitting at the counter, “working,” while i enter snoozle mode. through the haze of my fatigue, brought on by partying my booty off with everything in the neighborhood which walks and then with the male for an hour and a half when we get home (see, clearly not “working”), i observe him make lunch. he gives me none. through the fog of dreams, i observe him sit down to eat it. still, he gives me none (even though i have not eaten at this point for FOUR HOURS yes i know if you know the police’s phone number please give them a ringaling and have this man arrested). eventually, i wake up, and, what is this, the male is on the couch??? this is of humongous excitement. excitement which can only be communicated through booping his face with my face and wagging my tail a zillion times (approximate number, this is only an estimate, cameras have not yet been invented which can track the WPM of my booty). he usually gives me scritches then. it is very exciting. a few pats. and then i put my front paws on the couch by his feet, the universal signal for, “MOVE IT, BUDDY, THIS CORNER IS MINE and by the way could you please help me up i am simply a wee pup, hardly even fifty five pounds, it is difficult to lift this small body by myself so a boost of the booty would be appreciated.” he, of course, acquiesces, and i turn in circles for ten minutes, licking my peehole intermittently until i reenter snoozle mode. not sure what he does after that. seems like he just lays there with his legs smushed up, as though he doesn’t have space or something. not my job to do everything for the guy.
