This is Fargo.
Fargo has something to say.
mmmmmmmheeeeLLLOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! (this new little thing she’s doing where she swings her butt back and forth while jumping; it’s like someone listening to “Jump Around” while simultaneously sashaying)
i ate a blanket.
MY BAD.
i think it’s ok to talk about this now, because i am fine, but two weeks ago, when ABANDONED for a weekend (at daycare which i will admit is a very fun place where they give me lots of love and treats and i play with my friends), i got bored. sue me! (please don’t actually sue me they will not let me defend myself in court and court is often in the afternoon and that is when i like to take a big old naparooni) so i tore apart my blanket. and i ate a shred. kind of a big shred. then, that tuesday, i pooped it out.
my belly was a HURTIN!
i could not tell the people that i had eaten the blanket, because i 1) did not remember and 2) do not know how to tell the people that i have eaten a blanket. but i did do a little weird waddle after they picked me up the day i’d eaten it, and i did barf a little the morning before i pooped it out. so, i mean, they had some hints. also, there was a hole in the blanket the size of a shred. the shred i had eaten, specifically. whoopsies.
i was always my playful self (and it is a very playful self, i might add), so do not fret: no major danger for the dog. nothing else in there either, as it turned out, except for a weird piece of hard rubber that how did that get there? beats me. anyhoo, once the blanket was out…hooooooohh boy. was i a-tootin’.
farts on farts on farts, people. so many farts. and they smelled real bad. like…real bad.
they didn’t come out at first, which was part of the problem. they built up in my intestine until it kinda started to hurt, and last friday when i didn’t finish my breakfast and the humans took me to the vet the vet said, “Whoa, Fargo! That’s a lot of gas!” and i said, “you’re telling me, ma’am. my belly hurts!” and she gave me some wet food (which was delicious) and gradually…out came the farts. sorry to all affected.
today? feeling great. farts are done. getting back on the dry food. cornered an unidentified rodent under the neighbors’ grill last night. fargo is doing what fargo does best, which is partying. thankfully, with no more textiles in the gastrointestinal tract.
(*wanders off to go sniff the side of an automobile, which has been happening more than you’d think*)
