This is Fargo.
Fargo has something to say.
hheeeelllLLLOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*bucking, jumping, toe-tapping, snorting, sneezing, woofing, rubbing her face viciously against your leg and wagging her butt harder and harder the more you give back and booty scritches*
i was in charge for a day.
i am, of course, in charge every day. every day in this office, i call the shots. working hours? whenever i am asleep or in possession of something that does not belong to me. playing hours? whenever i am awake and not otherwise occupied.
yesterday, though, i was extra in charge. because yesterday, i had the hat.
the male has been gone a lot lately, and he’s been coming back smelling like other dogs (and occasionally—i hate to say it—CATS), which is very exciting until i cannot find these other dogs (and thankfully—in case they are evil—cats). WHERE ARE THE DOGS, MALE. WHERE ARE THE CATS.
it is because of this sniffing interest that i have been interestedly sniffing his things with extra interest. so, when i found a suitcase open on the floor…I sniffed.
not a lot in there, to be honest.
BUT THERE WAS HIS HAT!
i took it.
it is very fun to take things from the male. slippers. shoes. dirty laundry, papers, packaging material from various boxes, every now and then the sleeve of his coat while it is still on his body (if i am feeling particularly feisty). but the most fun thing to steal…it’s the hat.
the trick with theft—for all you other pups out there looking for tips—is to make it something the person cares about, but nothing you might actually destroy in a fit of passion. shoes? great for provoking a chase. books? you are probably going to tear multiple pages out of those, and that might make somebody sad and/or angry, neither of which help you get treats. you have to balance these things, and in this household, nothing hits that intersection of hard-to-destroy and sentimentally-valuable like the hat.
i had great fun with the hat.
i offered it to the male, to play tug with.
i pranced with it around the male’s legs, demonstrating my elusiveness and whimsy.
i jumped on the couch with it, to make the male come around the coffee table only to see me ESCAPE.
it was a spectacular four minutes, and when it ended because my butt got itchy and i dropped the hat to scratch my butt with my teeth (another tip—great way to precision-scratch if you need to), i think we were all a little sad to see it go.
but, dear puppy reader, dreaming of the good old days, fear not. for the Fargo Republic, though short-lived, is sure to come again. the hat is on the table. literally. it’s sitting right next to those stuffed pumpkin decorations i also like to steal.
