This is Fargo.
Fargo has something to say.
JAILBREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*running, running, running, running, running, running, running, running, back and forth between the people, back and forth between the people, hopping up and down, squeaking the squeaky toys, sitting and putting her paw in your hand and staring deeply into your eyes while panting exhaustedly*
hello.
i am sorry for my…uncouthness…but i have been at the boarder these last few days, and while i mostly spend that time partying, I AM STILL READY TO PARTY!!!!!!! I AM IN MY PARTYING PRIME!!!!!!! I AM TWO YEARS OLD AND I HAVEN’T HAD A SERIOUS IBD BOUT IN A YEAR THIS IS FARGO’S WORLD AND YOU ARE ALL LIVING IN IT!!!!!!!!
we have not talked about my poop in a while, and that is always a good sign. nothing to say! it’s been good. i have been pooping in appropriate quantities and consistencies and frequencies for a dog my size. please tell me i am a good girl.
*waits for you to say it*
thank you.
and a scritch?
*waits for you to scritch her noggin*
oh thank you that is very nice.
anyhoo, we do not need to talk more about my poops today. i have IBD, it is the pup equivalent of IBS, let us leave it at that. what i do need to discuss with you is…
nobody told me about “hot girls have ibd”?????????????
what in the heck.
a billboard popped up in Austin recently that says, “hot girls have IBS.” evidently this originated on tiktok. imagine the tiktokers horror. a billboard is the anti-tiktok! but still. it is a thing, and it is an accurate thing.
because i have IBS (more or less).
and i am hot (more and more).
it is TOASTY down here in Fargoritaville, and i need a haircut, and that haircut isn’t coming for a few more weeks. i am a toasty, toasty girl. i pant. i do not want to walk sometimes. my schlorpings have become even more earnest (and pup schlorpings are already quite serious business).
so? case closed. the billboards are correct.
i am a hot girl. and i have IBS.
