This is Fargo:
She has something to say.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MMMMMHEEEELLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*the most furious butt-waggle ever waggled*
IT. IS. !!!!!!!!!!!!GARBAGE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!
*booping you in the eye then falling to the ground and engaging in vigorous scratching*
*licks lips*
today, my friends, is the best day in the neighborhood. and no, that is not just because it is a day when the children are entering the preschool and i get to walk by and hear the ones who can talk good yell PUP-PY saying the p sound twice there in the middle (although that is fun too i do love the human puppies).
no.
today is not the best day in the neighborhood because of that.
today is the best day in the neighborhood because
*sprints to the kitchen and back again, barking incoherently*
i am sorry there was something i must do AS I WAS SAYING today is the best day in the neighborhood because WE. ARE. VISITED. TODAY. BY. THE. !!!!!!!DIVINE!!!!!!!
every friday the big truck rolls through. it is noisy. it is large. it is !!!STINKY!!!
i love it.
i like to think that i and the garbage truck have a lot in common. we will both put anything in our mouths. we both appreciate the value of an early wakeup call. we both smell like death, which is fun because when you smell like death you can sneak up on anyone because no one expects a dead thing to sneak up on them and then here you come smelling like death and saying SURPRISE IT IS ME FARGO MUAHAHA I AM HERE TO STEAL YOUR TREATS or perhaps SURPRISE IT IS ME GARBAGE TRUCK MUAHAHA I AM HERE TO STEAL YOUR GARBAGE (which is really treats when you think about it again i and the garbage truck are one in the same i am simply a small fluffy garbage truck that lives in the home and sometimes in the yard when i have to take a wee)
i also like to think that the garbage truck loves me. it drops fun things on the ground. it gobbles my poop out of the big stinky bin. it takes away the mushrooms from the backyard that i am told would kill me but have yet to do it despite my extensive testing when i am not being wrestled away by the man in the hat who smells like boring.
yes, friends, it is safe to say that the garbage truck is a god. or perhaps an angel. or perhaps a puppy in dis-OH MY GOSH WHAT IF THE GARBAGE TRUCK IS A PUPPY IN DISGUISE i need to go play with it i will see you later
*general directionless rambunction*
This is goldness.