This is Fargo.
Fargo has something to say:
mmmmmmmheeeelLLLLOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*mad scramble to greet you, jump upon your chest, knock a few things over with the wagging tail, then sit and shove one paw into your hand as a reminder that you should offer pets*
it has been a while.
unfortunately, i still do not feel my best. pooped on the floor again yesterday. right in front of the male. he said, “NO!” but i was already a-poopin’. we went outside after that. i pooped more outside. this morning i’m going to the vet.
but in the MEANTIME…
a squirrel stole my bread.
i KNOW! this is why i always make sure squirrels are dead.
the incident happened last week. i was out taking the male for a walk, and when we passed the goats’ house, there was a baguette on the ground. might it have been a hoagie roll? yes. but where i’m from (talking ancestral here, folks and folksesses), we call those baguettes. the baguette was dirty. possibly moldy. i would tell you which but you see the male stole it right out of my hands and dropped it right on the ground. to which i said, “fair play, fair play,” and went to pick it back up but then the male dragged me away by my leash until we got to the goats, at whom i stared for a few minutes in rapture.
thankfully, the male chose a route that brought us back by the corner of the goats and the fire hydrant. but this story, as you might guess from the title, has no happy ending. one block away from the goats, we saw it: the baguette. in the mouth of a squirrel trying confusedly to fit it through a fence (twist it to one side you dumbass you see this is why we need to make sure squirrels are dead). i hurried, and i hustled, but unfortunately, i was on a leash, and the male well you see the male is very slow (this is why he cannot catch me when i am in the backyard and do not want to come into the house and make him chase me around the backyard futilely before i finally get bored enough [he does NOT trick me i always am in control of the situation] to come in), so we did not make it in time. the squirrel had gotten under the fence. with the baguette. and carried it up a tree.
AND NOBODY KILLED IT
awful.
well, back to sad snoozin’. again, i do not know if it was dirt or mold on the baguette. you will have to ask the squirrel (the squirrel won’t know squirrels are idiots this is why we need to make sure they’re dead).
